I love mustelid haberdashery, vinho verde wine, and wensleydale with fruit.
I have this mantra in my head: "try to be positive, try to be positive, try to be positive"
But it's failing.
I hate this book. I hate this book for ever having been written. I hate people for liking this book and giving it good reviews. I hate the author for having written this book. But mostly, I hate myself for reading this book.
And I have a really strong "What the holy hell!?" reaction to those who love this book. Every five star review just leaves me baffled.
David Wong is a not-terrible writer. I like some of his articles at cracked.com, so I know he's capable of writing a decent article, at least. I went into this book blind. I didn't read any reviews or spoiler myself about it, and therefore I did not have any preconceived notions of what might happen. I do know that there seemed to be a lot of extreme opinions from my friend (love/hate), so I did have expectations that it would be complicated.
But it wasn't. It's a stereotypical "immature boy" book full of penis jokes, farting, "hilarious" dog diarrhea jokes and the like. It is horror/gore porn with a dash of scifi/fantasy. It was dumb, incohesive and just awful. It rambled and does not have any humor that could be remotely compared to something like The HitchHiker's Guide (which is what I read... somewhere). I can't even give it the "it's just mindless stupid for fun" good rating, because I love lots of mindless (or even downright bad) books, but this one? No.